I've been thinking this week about identity. On Monday, I was listening to the 'It's All Related' podcast from Sonia Choquette and her daughters, Sabrina and Sonia. Episode 91 is called 'It's time to break out of your identity and old habits' and they were discussing breaking out of the moulds that we cast for ourselves over time. It got me thinking about the things we say, such as:
I always do this
I would never do that
I've said I would do this
I told myself I would never try that
And how maybe... These are things we just tell ourselves. Perhaps, that used to be true. But what if now, something has changed?
It may be a good time to challenge what we think we know about ourselves and others. As well as what we believe we are capable of.
I thought about how my daughter and I had been in London recently on a foodie trip. My daughter had always been somewhat tentative in trying new foods. But now, she's changed. In part, thanks to her changing adolescent brain which means she is biologically wired to taking some new risks. She was adventurous is trying new foods and being in her company, it made me feel braver in sampling different cuisine. We both were able to taste delights that we'd never had before!
My daughter never did this, until she did.
I never did this, until I did.
Towards the end of this week, Boyfriend and I drove out to Whitstable for the afternoon. The sun was warm and the sea water was calm and crystal clear. We compared the turquoise, transparent water to videos we've seen of the Mediterranean. Some parts of the beach were formed of shell shingle. Instead of sand or stones, there were tiny pieces of shell beneath our feet. We sat watching the water and finding tiny shells. Then, I discovered that Boyfriend knows how to skim stones! I found it truly exciting that he has this talent and asked him to do it repeatedly for a while. I was so impressed that I advised him that this skill should definitely go on his C.V.
This is something I never knew about Boyfriend, until I did.
As we were about to leave, we came across a stand by the dock that offered boat trips. We got talking to the lovely lady who runs boat trips with her husband. The boat is an old wooden life boat which was built in 1948. It was in operation from 1949 - 1982 and during its time, it saved 132 lives. I told the woman that whilst Boyfriend has experience in sailing, I have always been afraid of big open bodies of water and I would never go on a boat. I relayed that I really wanted to do a Seal Safari trip one day, to visit the local Seals that breed on a nearby isle, but I am just too scared to go on the boats. The lady, when I say she was lovely, I mean she was on of the loveliest people I've ever met. She was kind, warm, soft and yet she also had this strength to her that was really special. She said to us that they were about to run their last boat trip of the day, why didn't we join it and see how it feels? And whilst right up until that moment, I have always said no to these offers, I said yes. And we suddenly found ourselves on a spontaneous boat trip.
OK, so I was the only person on board wearing a life jacket... But Boyfriend assured me that whatever I need to feel safe is appropriate and if anything happens, I'd be the only one who would be able to tell the tale.
And off we went, in a boat, across the sea...
This is something I would never have would have done, until I did.
Where are you saying this about yourself? How are you describing yourself? Are there things you've always identified with? Where have you decided that you will or will not ever do something? And is that still true for you? Are you noticing it in others?
At this time, more than usual, it's worth paying attention to what parts of yourself are wanting to change.
One of the greatest luxuries in life is having the freedom to change your mind.
And this is where our growth lies... This is where our becoming takes places. In new and different experiences, changing goals and dreams, that we allow for ourselves. Perhaps it's time to change the script?
In order to go places we've never been, maybe we have to do something we've never done?
